How Can I Forgive You?

The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring

Narrated by: Coleen Marlo

Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.

This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:

• How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
• When is forgiveness cheap?
• What is wrong with refusing to forgive?
• How can the offender earn forgiveness?
• How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?

©2004 Janis Abrahms Spring (P)2016 Tantor

Critic reviews

“Clear, insightful...a thoughtful exposition on the nuanced role of forgiveness in relationships that goes beyond the average self-help book.” ( Publishers Weekly)

guide to forgiveness and becoming forgivable

This book has been incredibly helpful. The most practical and comprehensive strategies to forgiveness I've come across in my 6 year journey after infidelity.

Great resource for framing a sincere apology

My only criticism is that the author speaks only from the perspective of heteronormative, monogamous relationships in the anecdotal stories. I read the hard copy when it was first published and decided it was a good time to listen to it again. Trying to decide how to forgive someone for their vote.

I'm a Christian

It was challenging to finish reading considering I disagree with her theology on genuine forgiveness.