If I could talk to my past self, I would tell her she’s doing the best she can with the tools she has, and she’s not weak, broken, or uniquely over emotional. I would tell her that the anxiety and depression are real, not imagined, and that she doesn’t have to act like she’s ok and as if nothing is wrong. I would tell her that she simply has a human condition. She’s not the only one who feels dark, scared, overwhelmed, or different, and she doesn’t have to hide those feelings or punish herself for having them.

I would tell her that happiness doesn’t just happen to lucky people. We have to participate in it, practice it, and move toward it through small daily choices. I would tell her that trying to control that which is outside of her fingertips will not save her, but acceptance, rest, and connection with others will. And even though life will not unfold the way she expects due to alcoholism, stroke, and unimaginable loss, she will be okay. I will tell her that she will grow into someone braver that she ever imagined being, wiser because of the hard stuff, and strong enough to help other people who feel the same way she does.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#strokerecovery #stroke #vestibularrecovery #recovery #vestibular #disability #soberlife #recoverypodcast

I didn’t understand, or even want to consider the possibility that my stroke permanently changed my life in an instant. How do you wrap your head around that. I did everything right. I was sober for five years. I did yoga every day at 4 PM. And I even became a runner, albeit short distance and not fast. Maybe I should say casual jogger 😂. Anyway, I thought if I followed the rules, went to the doctors, did the therapy, and pushed hard through recovery, I would get to the end of it and back to normal. Instead, I spent two years trying to force myself into a life my brain could no longer sustain. I slowly increased my work load, ignoring my pain and measuring myself against the person I was before my stroke.

I was in denial and terrified to admit that I could no longer do my job the way I used to. My career was slipping away from me. I reached the point of unmanageability. I shut my computer, sat on my porch, and sobbed. Leaving my job was devastating, but it was also the beginning of accepting who I am now instead of chasing who I used to be. My stroke took away a great deal, but it did not take away my ability to create meaning, connect with others, write, speak, and help people. Looking back, the real struggle was trusting that a different life could still be beautiful and falling back in to the arms of the unknown.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#strokerecovery #stroke #vestibularrecovery #recovery #vestibular #disability #recoverypodcast

I work hard to be happy. It takes intentional daily choices for me. Living with invisible illness, whether it was alcoholism, anxiety, depression, or now my vestibular disability after stroke, means there is so much going on inside of me that no one else can see. There’s a mental, emotional, and physical load behind even simple things I do. So I must participate in happiness and not wait for it to happen to me. I make conscious choices to do the things that bring me joy, comfort, meaning, and connection, even when I don’t feel like it.

Happiness is getting dressed because I know I feel better when I get dooded up for the day. It is writing my book, recording my podcast, going to support groups, picking up the phone, making art, and practicing gratitude. It’s also knowing when to rest, when to say “not today,” and when to protect my energy. I can still feel grief, frustration, exhaustion, and fear, and choose to move in the direction of happiness anyway. That is the work.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#vestibular #strokerecovery #stroke #vestibularrecovery #recovery #recoverypodcast

Step One in my vestibular recovery means accepting that I can’t force my brain and body to behave the way they used to. If I try to push through symptoms or do more than I can handle, I just create more pain, frustration, and unmanageability for myself. No one can see my dizziness, brain fog, daily head pain, and fatigue, but recovery gets even harder when I pretend they aren’t there and try to “act normal.” Acceptance is honesty, and enables self-care and self-compassion.

What helps me now is remembering that, although I can’t control my symptoms, I can control my pace, choices, boundaries, and how I respond to my body. I no longer have the luxury of not taking care of myself just because I don’t feel like it. I must or I will spiral down. I must pause before I push too far, focus on what I can do instead of obsessing over what I cannot, and choose self-care without shame or guilt. That’s how I’m supporting my vestibular system. I am learning to live differently, and even when that feels slow or invisible, it’s still forward movement. And, I’m proud of me today.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#vestibular #strokerecovery #stroke #vestibularrecovery #recovery #recoverypodcast

My faith journey began with desperation and willingness. Sobriety first introduced me to the idea of depending on a power greater than myself, even when I felt awkward and unsure about it. It felt more like discipline than conviction. I practiced gratitude, prayer, and “acting as if” I believed, long before I felt connected to anything. That willingness squeaked opened the door. I began to see that faith is continuing to reach for something beyond myself.

After my stroke, faith became survival. My disability left me terrified, uncertain, and stripped of the things I used to depend on, and that is when I felt a thirst for faith. Sobriety taught me how to pray, and stroke recovery taught me how badly I needed prayer. It turned faith into oxygen for me. I am still growing into it, practicing, and am majorly uncomfortable most of the time, but I know that prayer, dependence, and trust are keeping me emotionally well. I’m sharing this because it has carried me when I could not carry myself, and hope that anyone else who’s suffering might need to hear it.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#faith #strokerecovery #stroke #recovery #recoverypodcast

How do we know when it’s time to make a change? The process begins long before the actual decision. We must notice that we are suffering. I can often recognize pain in other people much faster than I can recognize it in myself, but change begins when I stop long enough to admit, “I’m not okay.” That pause matters, rather than rushing straight into self-pity or problem-solving mode. Take time to see the situation clearly and acknowledge that what you’re going through is hard.

Treating myself with the same compassion I would offer someone else is something I don’t excel at.

It’s brave to acknowledge our pain without judging ourselves or feeling like a failure. The longer we are willing to sit with those emotions and talk about them out loud, the more clearly we see them for what they are.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#selfcompassion #change #timeforchange #recovery #recoverypodcast

Change began when I conceded to my innermost self that the way I was living was no longer working. This pivotal point happened when I got sober and when I left my career for stroke recovery.

That inner voice tends to get buried under denial, fear, and survival mode. Admitting complete defeat meant I was willing to change something, and stop forcing my way to work. Little did I know, the only thing that had to change was everything…TWICE.

Willingness felt desperate, painful, and uncertain. But once I admitted that I was not okay, a door opened to another way of life. Sobriety helped me reconnect with the voice of my innermost self, and over time I learned to listen to it instead of the voice of my disease, fears, and depression. I’ve relied heavily on that connection in stroke recovery. I try to stay connected to my innermost self each day, through fellowship with other survivors and a growing faith in something bigger than myself.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#strokerecovery #acceptance #step1 #disability #recoverypodcast

Living with a chronic illness or disability, it’s difficult to know when to stop chasing doctor appointments, medications, and possible fixes, and instead start living life. For a long time after my stroke, I searched for the next solution, better specialists, drugs and treatments that might finally change what was happening to me. I found the most frustrating part was that no one ever said, “There’s nothing more I can do, it’s ok to just go live now.” I had to come to the realization myself that it was time to accept the unexplained and adapt my life. I now keep regular check-ins with doctors, but I stopped letting my calendar and my hope be run by constant appointments and recovering from therapies that weren’t helping me.

Choosing to step back from treatment was the beginning of living again. I decided that my limited energy was better spent adapting my life to having a disability than endlessly chasing relief that wasn’t coming. That shift helped me feel more in charge of my own recovery. If you are at that point, wondering whether it’s okay to stop and just live the best way you can, only you can answer that. No doctor will make that decision for you, nor should they. Whatever choice you make from that place will be the right choice for you.

Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779

Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling

#vestibulardisorder #acceptance #chronicpain #disability #recoverypodcast