Showing results by author "Dicholas Chad Pansy" in All Categories
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I Can Save Her: The Unauthorized Guide to Misreading Trauma as Flirtation
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 24
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Glen Haupt
- Length: 33 mins
- Unabridged
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I Can Save Her: The Unauthorized Guide to Misreading Trauma as Flirtation is a brutally honest, darkly hilarious exposé of every man who thought “she’s been through a lot” meant “I have a chance.”
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I Can Save Her: The Unauthorized Guide to Misreading Trauma as Flirtation
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 24
- Narrated by: Glen Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 24
- Length: 33 mins
- Release date: 06-05-25
- Language: English
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You Don’t Need a Life Coach, You Need a Lobotomy: A Brutally Honest Guide to Fixing Your Pathetic Existence
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 25
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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This book won't change your life—because you're the only one who can do that, and let's be honest, you probably won't. But it will make you laugh, cringe in recognition, and maybe—just maybe—inspire you to stop blaming the universe for your problems and start making actual changes.
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You Don’t Need a Life Coach, You Need a Lobotomy: A Brutally Honest Guide to Fixing Your Pathetic Existence
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 25
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 25
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Release date: 05-29-25
- Language: English
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So You Want to Date a Tech Bro?
- A Survival Guide to Red Flags, Startups, and Endless Talks About Crypto (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 13)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You’ve matched with a Tech Bro. Maybe he built a “disruptive” app that nobody asked for. Maybe he describes himself as an “entrepreneur” but lives with four roommates. Maybe he just pitched you a startup idea during your first date. Either way, welcome to the rollercoaster ride that is dating a man who thinks “Web3” is a personality. This hilariously brutal field guide will help you navigate, survive, and ultimately regret your decision to date a man whose primary relationship is with his second monitor.
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So You Want to Date a Tech Bro?
- A Survival Guide to Red Flags, Startups, and Endless Talks About Crypto (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 13)
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 13
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Release date: 07-08-25
- Language: English
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Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, in Which Case, Panic)
- A Survival Guide for People Who Overthink Breathing (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 4)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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This is not a self-help book. This is a validation of your deeply chaotic existence—a hilarious, biting, and painfully relatable deep dive into the spirals, overthinking, and worst-case-scenario fantasies that come with having a brain that refuses to chill.
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Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, in Which Case, Panic)
- A Survival Guide for People Who Overthink Breathing (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 4)
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Length: 56 mins
- Release date: 06-18-25
- Language: English
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I Can Fix Him
- But First Let Me Break Myself Completely: A Guide to Dating Human Dumpster Fires with Confidence (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 23)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Length: 42 mins
- Unabridged
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I Can Fix Him (But First Let Me Break Myself Completely) is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide for every woman who has ever tried to date a human red flag and call it a healing journey. This isn't your typical relationship advice book. It’s a full-blown exorcism of the Savior Complex, delivered with biting wit, surgical sarcasm, and the clarity that only comes after crying in your car for the fifth time this month.
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I Can Fix Him
- But First Let Me Break Myself Completely: A Guide to Dating Human Dumpster Fires with Confidence (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 23)
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 23
- Length: 42 mins
- Release date: 06-04-25
- Language: English
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Maybe I'm the Problem?: How to Second-Guess Yourself into Oblivion and Still Have Time for a Nap
- Ruin Your Life Now
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of being emotionally stable? Do you wish you could turn every minor interaction into a full-blown existential crisis? Look no further than Maybe I'm the Problem? – the ultimate guide to professional self-gaslighting and strategic overthinking. From the brilliantly neurotic mind of Dicholas Chad Pansy comes a self-help book that will definitely not help you at all. Inside, you’ll learn essential skills like: Turning a simple "Hey" text into a three-day analysis of your entire life. Convincing yourself that your perfectly fine presentation was actually a career-ending disaster.
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Maybe I'm the Problem?: How to Second-Guess Yourself into Oblivion and Still Have Time for a Nap
- Ruin Your Life Now
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 11
- Length: 1 hr and 34 mins
- Release date: 04-07-25
- Language: English
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Ghosted: A Masterclass in Vanishing Like You Never Existed
- A Deeply Irresponsible Guide to Disappearing, Reappearing, and Making People Question Reality (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 5)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Cora Dean
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of getting ghosted? Sick of waiting for that text back that will never come? Ever wondered how you, too, can master the art of emotional escape artistry? Good news, coward! This book is here to validate your worst instincts and teach you how to disappear like a true professional. Whether you’ve been ghosted, have done the ghosting, or just love chaotic dating disasters, this book is your hilarious, deeply unhinged guide to modern romance at its absolute worst.
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Ghosted: A Masterclass in Vanishing Like You Never Existed
- A Deeply Irresponsible Guide to Disappearing, Reappearing, and Making People Question Reality (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 5)
- Narrated by: Cora Dean
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 5
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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Love Me, But from Over There
- A Guide to Keeping People at Arm’s Length (Or Preferably, in Another Time Zone) (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 9)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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ATTENTION, WALKING RED FLAG: Do you panic when someone texts, “I miss you”? Have you ghosted someone while still liking all their Instagram posts? Does the idea of an actual healthy relationship make you want to jump out of a moving vehicle? CONGRATULATIONS. YOU MAY BE ENTIRELY INCAPABLE OF LOVE. But don’t worry—this book is not here to fix you. Instead, it will celebrate your terrible dating habits with: A step-by-step guide to self-sabotaging any relationship before it gets serious. The “Should I Text Them Back?” flowchart (spoiler: you won’t).
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Love Me, But from Over There
- A Guide to Keeping People at Arm’s Length (Or Preferably, in Another Time Zone) (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 9)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 9
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Release date: 04-04-25
- Language: English
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Dead Inside, But Functional
- A Guide to Barely Existing Without Losing Your Mind (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 1)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Length: 1 hr and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Life is exhausting. People expect enthusiasm, deep emotional connections, and basic human engagement. Annoying. But guess what? You don’t actually have to care—you just have to look like you do. This book is not about healing. It’s about perfecting the fine art of detachment while still participating in society just enough to avoid suspicion.
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Dead Inside, But Functional
- A Guide to Barely Existing Without Losing Your Mind (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 1)
- Narrated by: Li Haupt
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 1
- Length: 1 hr and 16 mins
- Release date: 07-10-25
- Language: English
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So, You Want to Date a TikTok Influencer? (Hope You Like Ring Lights and Emotional Damage)
- A Survival Guide to Loving Someone Who Is Always Filming, and ... Fully Present (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 14)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Kat Mackay
- Length: 59 mins
- Unabridged
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You thought dating was hard before? Try dating someone who live-streams their coffee order, documents every minor inconvenience for engagement, and will 100% use your relationship as content. This brutally honest, hilariously unhinged guide will walk you through the emotional minefield of modern romance, covering critical topics like: Why their phone gets more eye contact than you. How to spot the red flags (hint: if they own a ring light, run).
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So, You Want to Date a TikTok Influencer? (Hope You Like Ring Lights and Emotional Damage)
- A Survival Guide to Loving Someone Who Is Always Filming, and ... Fully Present (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 14)
- Narrated by: Kat Mackay
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 14
- Length: 59 mins
- Release date: 07-10-25
- Language: English
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What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)
- A Deep Dive into the Void of Uncertainty (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 20)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Ivy E Hensley
- Length: 1 hr and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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From the deeply unqualified mind behind every bad decision you’ve ever made comes "What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)," a deeply unhelpful guide to overanalyzing your entire existence, making terrible impulse purchases, and aggressively avoiding reality. In this book, you’ll find zero useful advice, but you WILL find an emotional breakdown disguised as a shopping spree—because spending $500 on throw pillows is easier than going to therapy.
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What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)
- A Deep Dive into the Void of Uncertainty (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 20)
- Narrated by: Ivy E Hensley
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 20
- Length: 1 hr and 8 mins
- Release date: 07-08-25
- Language: English
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Live, Laugh, Lobotomy - The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Pleasantly Vacant Human
- Because Deep Thoughts Are a Liability (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 18)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of thinking until your brain hurts? Sick of caring about every little disaster life throws at you? Done with the “personal growth” scam that just leaves you broke and eating kale? Then Live, Laugh, Lobotomy is your ticket to freedom—the kind that comes from ditching stress, worries, and any shred of responsibility for a lifestyle of cheerful, blissful vacancy. This isn’t your grandma’s self-help book; it’s a sarcastic, biting manifesto for erasing overthinking and embracing the art of not giving a damn.
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Live, Laugh, Lobotomy - The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Pleasantly Vacant Human
- Because Deep Thoughts Are a Liability (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 18)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 7 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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Stoicism for the Hopeless: How to Emotionally Flatline Your Way Through Life
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 16
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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This is not a self-help book. This is a self-detachment book. If you’re ready to become an unshakable force of calm indifference, to stop letting life stress you out, and to fully embrace the Stoic art of not giving a single damn, this is the book for you.
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Stoicism for the Hopeless: How to Emotionally Flatline Your Way Through Life
- Ruin Your Life Now, Book 16
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 16
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Release date: 04-07-25
- Language: English
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Perfectly Imperfect (But Mostly Just a Mess)
- A Flawless Guide to Overachieving, Overthinking, and Eventually Imploding (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 12)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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ATTENTION PERFECTIONISTS: If you’ve ever rewritten an email 14 times, physically cringed at a typo, or spent an hour debating whether to sign off with "Best" or "Sincerely"—this book is your personal attack. Do you spend an obscene amount of time making sure every minor detail of your life is flawless, only to burn out like an overheated laptop from 2006? Do you find yourself rewriting text messages to ensure they sound casual, yet professional, yet witty, yet effortless, yet not like you're trying too hard, but also not like you don’t care?
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Perfectly Imperfect (But Mostly Just a Mess)
- A Flawless Guide to Overachieving, Overthinking, and Eventually Imploding (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 12)
- Narrated by: Jon Gerten
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 12
- Length: 54 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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How to Be a Debbie Downer
- A Guide to Finding the Worst in Everything and Making Sure Everyone Knows It (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 6)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Rebekah Amber Clark
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you tired of people being happy around you? Do you dream of a world where no one dares to enjoy life in your presence? Congratulations! You’ve just found the ultimate guide to turning every interaction into an awkward, joyless nightmare. Whether it’s crushing enthusiasm, ruining weddings, or making sure no one ever tells you good news again, this book will teach you everything you need to become a certified Debbie Downer.
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How to Be a Debbie Downer
- A Guide to Finding the Worst in Everything and Making Sure Everyone Knows It (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 6)
- Narrated by: Rebekah Amber Clark
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 6
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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Should I Do This or That? (Wait, Let’s Reconsider Everything)
- A Guide to Making Decisions, Then Changing Your Mind 47 Times (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 15)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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WARNING: This is NOT a book for decisive people. If you know what you want in life and confidently make choices without having a full-blown existential meltdown, please move along. This book is for overthinkers, procrastinators, and chronically indecisive disasters who would rather launch themselves into the sun than commit to literally anything.
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Should I Do This or That? (Wait, Let’s Reconsider Everything)
- A Guide to Making Decisions, Then Changing Your Mind 47 Times (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 15)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 15
- Length: 54 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
- A Guide to Faking Competence Until You Believe It (Or Get Caught) (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 8)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 1 hr and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you one minor inconvenience away from a full-blown existential crisis? Do you regularly Google how to do your own job while hoping nobody notices? Ever sat in a meeting nodding thoughtfully while having no clue what’s happening? Congratulations! You’re just like everyone else. This book is a highly questionable, deeply unserious guide to: Looking like you have your life together while internally screaming.
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I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
- A Guide to Faking Competence Until You Believe It (Or Get Caught) (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 8)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 8
- Length: 1 hr and 12 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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How to Fix Your Life (But Let’s Be Honest, You Won’t)
- A Self-Help Book for People Who Have No Intention of Changing (Ruin Your Life Now 7)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Congratulations! You’ve found yet another self-help book that you’ll skim through, feel briefly inspired by, and then completely ignore while continuing to make the same bad decisions.
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How to Fix Your Life (But Let’s Be Honest, You Won’t)
- A Self-Help Book for People Who Have No Intention of Changing (Ruin Your Life Now 7)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 7
- Length: 59 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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Therapy Is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself
- How to Save Money by Just Convincing Yourself You’re Fine (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 17)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Length: 41 mins
- Unabridged
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"Therapy is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself" is the ultimate self-help book for people who have absolutely no intention of helping themselves. Filled with bad coping mechanisms, self-deception strategies, and the sheer audacity to pretend everything is fine, this book is here to validate your disastrous life choices.
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Therapy Is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself
- How to Save Money by Just Convincing Yourself You’re Fine (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 17)
- Narrated by: Benjamin Powell
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 17
- Length: 41 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)
- A Play-by-Play Breakdown of Every Conversation You’ve Ever Had (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 2)
- By: Dicholas Chad Pansy
- Narrated by: Matthew R Weeks
- Length: 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Did I just embarrass myself? (Probably, but let’s obsess over it for 12 hours.) Welcome to the official handbook for people who replay every conversation they've ever had like it's a humiliating movie they didn’t consent to star in.
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Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)
- A Play-by-Play Breakdown of Every Conversation You’ve Ever Had (Ruin Your Life Now, Book 2)
- Narrated by: Matthew R Weeks
- Series: Ruin Your Life Now, Book 2
- Length: 38 mins
- Release date: 05-16-25
- Language: English
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Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall256,854
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Performance238,035
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Story237,485
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
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Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, and others
- Length: 26 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall1,080
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Performance1,039
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Story1,039
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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excellent story, great rendition.
- By Anonymous on 03-12-26
By: J.K. Rowling
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Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, Matthew Macfadyen, Riz Ahmed, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall13,112
-
Performance12,509
-
Story12,508
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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Absolutely LOVE
- By MsMelissa904 on 11-04-25
By: J.K. Rowling
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Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, James McAvoy, Ruth Wilson, and others
- Length: 20 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3,427
-
Performance3,330
-
Story3,330
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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Is it Harry, or is it Ron?
- By Molly Moore on 02-12-26
By: J.K. Rowling
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Project Hail Mary
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 16 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall256,854
-
Performance238,035
-
Story237,485
Ryland Grace is the sole survivor on a desperate, last-chance mission - and if he fails, humanity and the Earth itself will perish. Except that right now, he doesn't know that. He can't even remember his own name, let alone the nature of his assignment or how to complete it. All he knows is that he's been asleep for a very, very long time. And he's just been awakened to find himself millions of miles from home, with nothing but two corpses for company.
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Bazinga
- By Davidgonzalezsr on 05-04-21
By: Andy Weir
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Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, Keira Knightley, James McAvoy, and others
- Length: 26 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall1,080
-
Performance1,039
-
Story1,039
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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excellent story, great rendition.
- By Anonymous on 03-12-26
By: J.K. Rowling
-
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, Matthew Macfadyen, Riz Ahmed, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall13,112
-
Performance12,509
-
Story12,508
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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Absolutely LOVE
- By MsMelissa904 on 11-04-25
By: J.K. Rowling
-
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, James McAvoy, Ruth Wilson, and others
- Length: 20 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3,427
-
Performance3,330
-
Story3,330
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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-
Is it Harry, or is it Ron?
- By Molly Moore on 02-12-26
By: J.K. Rowling
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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, Matthew Macfadyen, Kit Harington, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5,085
-
Performance4,823
-
Story4,823
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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Fixed Audio Mixing
- By Brandon on 12-19-25
By: J.K. Rowling
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Theo of Golden
- A Novel
- By: Allen Levi
- Narrated by: David Morse
- Length: 13 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall10,696
-
Performance10,524
-
Story10,524
THE #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING PHENONEMON A Katie Couric Book Club Pick A Jen Hatmaker Book Club Pick “[A] word-of-mouth smash hit.” —The New York Times “A treasure.” —Hoda Kotb One spring morning, a stranger named Theo arrives in the small Southern city of Golden. He doesn't...
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Favorite book possibly ever
- By HGVBMomma on 12-14-25
By: Allen Levi
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Dungeon Crawler Carl
- A LitRPG/Gamelit Adventure
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 13 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall51,338
-
Performance46,004
-
Story45,965
A man. His ex-girlfriend's cat. A sadistic game show unlike anything in the universe: a dungeon crawl where survival depends on killing your prey in the most entertaining way possible. In a flash, every human-erected construction on Earth - from Buckingham Palace to the tiniest of sheds - collapses in a heap, sinking into the ground. The buildings and all the people inside have all been atomized and transformed into the dungeon: an 18-level labyrinth filled with traps, monsters, and loot.
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A refreshing take on apocalyptical LITRPG
- By Rhexas on 03-01-21
By: Matt Dinniman
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The Correspondent
- A Novel
- By: Virginia Evans
- Narrated by: Maggi-Meg Reed, Jane Oppenheimer, Carly Robins, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall18,593
-
Performance18,227
-
Story18,226
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Discover the word-of-mouth hit hailed by Ann Patchett as “A cause for celebration”—an intimate novel about the transformative power of the written word and the beauty of slowing down to reconnect with the people we love. “The Correspondent is this...
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Brilliant, with stellar narration! 📝📚📝📚📝📚📝📚
- By Lili on 08-19-25
By: Virginia Evans
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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Full-Cast Edition)
- By: J.K. Rowling
- Narrated by: Hugh Laurie, Matthew Macfadyen, Riz Ahmed, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4,297
-
Performance4,156
-
Story4,157
Get ready to be transported to the world of Harry Potter in a captivating production that features hundreds of unique voices and immersive sound design that brings the wizarding world vividly to life in Dolby Atmos. You’ll hear footsteps echoing through the corridors of Hogwarts and the heart-racing whoosh of the Golden Snitch as it darts past your ears in the heat of a Quidditch match. Also featuring an electrifying new musical score, The Full-Cast Audio Editions present J.K. Rowling’s iconic series as a truly spellbinding listening event for the whole family.
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Snape Performance Not Really Working For Me
- By Jimmy R. Queen on 01-15-26
By: J.K. Rowling
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My Husband's Wife
- A Novel
- By: Alice Feeney
- Narrated by: Bel Powley, Henry Rowley, Richard Armitage
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall8,033
-
Performance7,979
-
Story7,979
The New York Times bestselling Queen of Twists is back with a psychological masterpiece that will leave you questioning everything you know about love, identity, and revenge. This program features multicast narration and is read by actor and Audie Award–winner Richard Armitage, actor Bel...
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So Good Great Twists
- By Lulu Dx on 01-26-26
By: Alice Feeney
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Judge Stone
- A Novel
- By: James Patterson, Viola Davis
- Narrated by: Viola Davis
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall1,282
-
Performance1,270
-
Story1,270
#1 New York Times Bestseller! Read by Academy Award–winning actress Viola Davis. “Davis is a force of nature, and her performance is riveting.” — Kirkus Reviews Viola Davis and the world's #1 bestselling author James Patterson’s Judge Stone "delivers first-class courtroom drama...
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Strong female character leads
- By Mrs.Watkin on 03-12-26
By: James Patterson, and others
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Carl's Doomsday Scenario
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 2
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall30,077
-
Performance25,407
-
Story25,386
The ratings and views are off the chart. The fans just can't get enough. The dungeon gets more dangerous each day. But in a grinder designed to chew up and spit out crawlers by the millions, Carl and Princess Donut need to work harder than ever just to survive. They call it the Over City. A sprawling, once-thriving metropolis devastated by a mysterious calamity. But these streets are far from abandoned. An undead circus trawls the ruins. Murdered prostitutes rain from the sky. An ancient spell is finally ready to reveal its dark purpose.
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Let's face it... Most reviews are trash
- By Butter Butt Butt on 05-05-21
By: Matt Dinniman
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Dear Debbie
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, January LaVoy, Scott Brick
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5,939
-
Performance5,893
-
Story5,893
Debbie Mullen is losing it. For years, she has compiled all of her best advice into her column, Dear Debbie, where the wives of New England come for sympathy and neighborly advice. Through her work, Debbie has heard from countless women who are ignored, belittled, or even abused by their husbands. And Debbie does her best to guide them in the right direction. Or at least, she did.
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Meh
- By Haley J Izenbaard on 01-30-26
By: Freida McFadden
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The Let Them Theory
- A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About
- By: Mel Robbins
- Narrated by: Mel Robbins
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall26,479
-
Performance24,892
-
Story24,891
In her latest groundbreaking book, The Let Them Theory, Mel Robbins—New York Times bestselling author and one of the world's most respected experts on motivation, confidence, and mindset—teaches you how to stop wasting energy on what you can't control and start focusing on what truly matters: YOU. Your happiness. Your goals. Your life.
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Good but nothing new.
- By Silefer on 02-21-25
By: Mel Robbins
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The Dungeon Anarchist's Cookbook
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 3
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays, The Critical Drinker
- Length: 16 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall29,664
-
Performance25,584
-
Story25,555
The top 10 list is populated. The sponsorship program is open. The difficulty is ramping up. The first three floors were nothing compared to what Carl and Donut now face. The Iron Tangle. An impossibly complicated subway system built out of the world's subterranean railway systems, all combined and then tied together into a knot. Up is down.
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Neeew ACHIEVEMENT: Trilogy?
- By CatHerderCam on 05-14-21
By: Matt Dinniman
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Reminders of Him
- A Novel
- By: Colleen Hoover
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley, Ryan West
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall43,895
-
Performance39,223
-
Story39,120
After serving five years in prison for a tragic mistake, Kenna Rowan returns to the town where it all went wrong, hoping to reunite with her four-year-old daughter. But the bridges Kenna burned are proving impossible to rebuild. Everyone in her daughter’s life is determined to shut Kenna out, no matter how hard she works to prove herself. The only person who hasn’t closed the door on her completely is Ledger Ward, a local bar owner and one of the few remaining links to Kenna’s daughter.
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Well written book
- By Nikki V on 01-19-22
By: Colleen Hoover
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The Gate of the Feral Gods
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 4
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 18 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall24,583
-
Performance20,754
-
Story20,732
A floating fortress occupied by warrior gnomes. A castle made of sand. A derelict submarine guarded by malfunctioning machines. A haunted crypt surrounded by lethal traps. It was supposed to be easy. One bubble. Four castles. Fifteen days. Capture each one, and the stairwell is unlocked.
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NEW ACHIEVEMENT!!!!
- By Scott kimball on 09-17-21
By: Matt Dinniman
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The Butcher's Masquerade
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 5
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays
- Length: 23 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall27,252
-
Performance23,924
-
Story23,896
A lush jungle teeming with danger. Savage dinosaurs seeking blood. A fallen princess intent on vengeance. A mysterious, end-of-floor celebration for the top crawlers, dubbed “The Butcher’s Masquerade”. The sixth floor. The Hunting Grounds. As the remaining crawlers battle for their lives, a new, terrible threat looms. Outside, tourists are finally allowed to enter the game, and they are here and ready to hunt. Among them is Vrah, a famed and veteran hunter, intent on collecting the biggest trophy of her career.
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Perhaps the best plotted SF series ever written
- By Ed Pegg Jr on 05-26-22
By: Matt Dinniman
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Mark of the Fool 10
- A Progression Fantasy Epic
- By: J.M. Clarke
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 23 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall223
-
Performance212
-
Story212
A cycle of victory and horror: the pride of the Kingdom of Thameland. That is the Ravener’s cycle. Over years of study, Alex Roth is finally an archwizard, has overcome the Mark of the Fool, and empowered his friends and companions. Yet their foe is the mightiest they have faced yet: the Ravener itself, now freed from thousands of years of chains and returned to its full strength.
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I’ve enjoyed my journey with the Fool
- By Isai Garcia on 03-22-26
By: J.M. Clarke
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The Eye of the Bedlam Bride
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 6
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays, Patrick Warburton, Travis Baldree, and others
- Length: 26 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall18,548
-
Performance15,914
-
Story15,913
A pantheon of forgotten gods. An old grudge between a talk show host, an heiress, and the man they shattered along the way. A rapidly deteriorating AI system. An inconvenient tiara upon the head of a friend.
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Mayhem & Intrigue… Oh my! 😼
- By C. White on 09-01-23
By: Matt Dinniman
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You with the Sad Eyes
- A Memoir
- By: Christina Applegate
- Narrated by: Christina Applegate
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall1,013
-
Performance993
-
Story993
"Funny, furious, and profane." —The New York Times “Not your typical celebrity memoir.” —Jimmy Kimmel Unflinchingly honest and darkly funny, You with the Sad Eyes unveils a side of Christina Applegate we’ve never seen, forever cementing her formidable and iconoclastic legacy. Christina...
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Raw, hilarious, I did not know Christina was so dam funny! Very intelligent writer and progressive thinker. Love love love it
- By Shelley Lannon on 03-07-26
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This Inevitable Ruin
- Dungeon Crawler Carl, Book 7
- By: Matt Dinniman
- Narrated by: Jeff Hays, Travis Baldree
- Length: 28 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall22,156
-
Performance20,509
-
Story20,508
The ninth floor. Nine armies, each led by rich and powerful aliens from across the galaxy. Each team has one objective: to capture and hold the castle at the very center of the battlefield. Strategy, alliances, pitched battles, and, of course, betrayal ... It all makes for great fun and even greater television. After all, none of these powerful aliens really die when they’re playing war. Except this time. This time, winner takes all. Those who fall, stay in the ground.
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New Achievement!! You might have a problem.
- By matt fitzpatrick on 02-11-25
By: Matt Dinniman
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Stripped Down
- Unfiltered and Unapologetic
- By: Bunnie Xo
- Narrated by: Bunnie Xo
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4,730
-
Performance4,715
-
Story4,715
**Narrated by the author!** Unfiltered. Unapologetic. And straight from the source. Get intimate with Bunnie Xo as she narrates her own incredible story. From the trailer parks of Vegas to the mansions of Nashville, Bunnie Xo has lived a lot of lives and seen the darkest sides of humanity. Her...
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Light in the darkness
- By Mom of 8 on 02-17-26
By: Bunnie Xo
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It's Not Her
- By: Mary Kubica
- Narrated by: Jennifer Jill Araya, Brittany Pressley, Gary Tiedemann
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall1,799
-
Performance1,774
-
Story1,774
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! “A gripping thrill ride.” —Jeneva Rose “Tantalizing, terrifying and all too real.” —Shari Lapena “Cancel your plans, you won’t be able to put this one down.” —Chris Whitaker “Wickedly smart and incredibly twisted.” —Ashley Elston...
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Awesome read
- By Jeremy Schutte on 02-11-26
By: Mary Kubica
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Red Rising
- By: Pierce Brown
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall79,246
-
Performance72,476
-
Story72,359
Darrow is a Red, a member of the lowest caste in the color-coded society of the future. Like his fellow Reds, he works all day, believing that he and his people are making the surface of Mars livable for future generations. Yet he spends his life willingly, knowing that his blood and sweat will one day result in a better world for his children. But Darrow and his kind have been betrayed. Soon he discovers that humanity reached the surface generations ago. Vast cities and sprawling parks spread across the planet.
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HUMANS ARE ALWAY NEGOTIATING,
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-30-15
By: Pierce Brown
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Heart the Lover
- By: Lily King
- Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall2,391
-
Performance2,340
-
Story2,340
From the New York Times bestselling author of Writers & Lovers comes a magnificent and intimate new novel of desire, friendship, and the lasting impact of first love. You knew I’d write a book about you someday. Our narrator understands good love stories—their secrets and subtext, their...
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Heart the Lover
- By Debra Noffsinger on 11-08-25
By: Lily King
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The Housemaid
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Lauryn Allman
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall43,719
-
Performance39,865
-
Story39,841
I only try on one of Nina’s pristine white dresses once. Just to see what it’s like. But she soon finds out… and by the time I realize my attic bedroom door only locks from the outside, it’s far too late. But I reassure myself: the Winchesters don’t know who I really am. They don’t know what I’m capable of…
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One Big Cliche’
- By Karen Brow on 08-03-22
By: Freida McFadden
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A Court of Mist and Fury
- By: Sarah J. Maas
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ikeda
- Length: 23 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall60,016
-
Performance54,280
-
Story54,242
Feyre has undergone more trials than one human woman can carry in her heart. Though she’s now been granted the powers and lifespan of the High Fae, she is haunted by her time Under the Mountain and the terrible deeds she performed to save the lives of Tamlin and his people. As her marriage to Tamlin approaches, Feyre’s hollowness and nightmares consume her. She finds herself split into two different people: one who upholds her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court, and one who lives out her life in the Spring Court with Tamlin.
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Shippers will either Love it or Hate it
- By Natalie C on 05-05-16
By: Sarah J. Maas