Showing results by narrator "Michael Black" in All Categories

The last time I spoke was eight years ago when my best friend tried to kill me. I never dreamed my silence would break with a scream. Being sent to Chapel Crest after my new stepfather deemed me a heathen seemed like a blessing compared to staying with him and my mom. I was a mute demon in his eyes, and when the rod didn’t beat the evil out of me, he prayed Chapel Crest could. I envisioned the religious academy would become my sanctuary. I was wrong. So very wrong. Chapel Crest was an asylum moonlighting as a religious school.

The stories were all wrong—Hook was never the villain. For two centuries, all of the Darling women have disappeared on their 18th birthday. Sometimes they’re gone for only a day, some a week or a month. But they always return broken. Now, on the afternoon of my 18th birthday, my mother is running around the house making sure all the windows are barred and the doors locked. But it’s pointless. Because when night falls, he comes for me. And this time, the Never King and the Lost Boys aren’t willing to let me go.

Sometimes the wrong side could be the right side. My father never loved me. I was never good enough for him because I was different. My differences made me vulnerable to his cruelty, and a mistake I made brought a deeper level of hell into my life. When my curiosity got the better of me one night, it ended with me being forced out of the world I’d learned to exist in before I was thrust into another. This new world is darker and more dangerous. It’s filled with lies, deceit, and pain. I have rules I live by now because the wicked walk these halls.

I spent most of my life feeling dead inside—until I met Peter Pan and the Lost Boys. It wasn't until Pan and Neverland that I finally felt alive. But things are not all full of magic and sunlight on the island. There's something darker and more sinister haunting the forest. And worse, the fae queen and Captain Hook are ready to fight for control of Neverland and they will stop at nothing to get what they want. War is brewing—can the Never King get his shadow back and assume his rightful throne? Or will all of Neverland be in jeopardy along with my dark, twisted heart?

I was not without sin. I carried my name for a reason. Screwing things up was just part of who I was. Sometimes people got hurt because of me. Sometimes they died. After being exiled from the world I’d created with my best friends, I was left to punish myself for my sins against the girl they loved. The sins I spent hours begging whatever entity was out there to forgive me for. But maybe I wasn’t supposed to be forgiven. Maybe I was who I was because I was meant for something bigger than me. Maybe I was always meant for her. The girl with the colorful eyes who never spoke.

Chapel Crest isn't for the weak. It's for those who wish to watch the world reduced to ashes and screams. The Watchers went too far. Locking me up with the monster who tried to kill me eight years ago wasn't the way to win my heart. It was the way to break it. When Seth comes to collect on the bet he made with the Watchers, I know I'm in for a world of hurt. Because Seth Cain isn't the nice boy I once knew. He's a demon in this asylum from hell. And if he finds out the Watchers have already claimed me, he could very well finish what he started all those years ago.

The Dark One has finally accepted me...just in time for everything to change. Because Vane’s brother, the Crocodile, has just arrived on Neverland soil, and he’s not alone. He’s brought with him members of the royal Darkland family, and they want Vane’s Death Shadow back at any cost. Of course, Peter Pan, Vane, Kas, and Bash, they’re all familiar with war. But war isn’t easy when love is on the line.

Some secrets should not be kept. They should be screamed. I have a secret. In fact, I have many. Most of them could get me killed, so my silence is the golden ticket to survival in this asylum from hell. But my watchers don’t like it when I’m silent. They like when I scream. When I beg. When I’m a bad girl who tells the things I shouldn’t. Maybe this time I’ll let it all out. Divulge the ugly truths and cast light on the real monsters living in our world. Maybe my secrets will save me this time.

I thought Peter Pan was a myth and Neverland a fairy tale. A story spun by my mother who had lost her mind a long time ago. But there was no denying the overwhelming shadow cast by Peter Pan when he was standing in my house.

The Crocodile, the Devourer of Men, has devoured something he shouldn’t: a Myth Maker Witch. Now, with the witch’s dark power swirling inside of him, he’s losing control of his monster and quickly making his way through my ship and my crew. It’s only me and Wendy Darling who can pull him back. But even we know time is running out.

Three standalone and duet narrated stories. One world ruled by power, fate, and impossible bonds. Welcome to Immortal Vices and Virtues—a world where supernaturals reign, power is currency, and fate is rarely kind. This omnibus collection brings together three complete, standalone fantasy paranormal romances set within the shared Immortal Vices and Virtues universe. Each story follows a different heroine forced to confront hidden truths, dangerous legacies, and fated mates they never asked for, but can’t escape.

Before I found a love I was willing to die for, I had to survive one I had to kill for. Chapel Crest wasn’t a place of solace. It was made for suffering. I would know. I’d been locked inside ever since my mother tossed me away like I didn't matter. In my suffering though, I found her. Isabella. The girl who made me believe I mattered. The girl I gave everything to. The girl I loved. The girl I would do anything for, even kill for. Or just plain kill. Because you don’t betray a watcher and live to tell about it. This is the prequel to Chapel Crest and is best read AFTER book one.

Willow Lourie, daughter of Kyle and Eyota, is the definition of against the grain. She lives her life unapologetically to the desires of her heart. She's always known what was right according to pack law and her parents' guidance, but when right doesn't work with what her heart wants, she does the next best thing... her. What happens when someone comes along making her second guess her true heart's desire?

I should have known better, I should have seen the signs, but now all I'm left with is heartache and disappointment. They may think they've got the better of me, but I won't go down without a fight. Especially when it comes to the ones I love. Even if I have to protect them from themselves.

New York Times bestselling author and stand-up comedian Michael Ian Black (author of A Child’s First Book of Trump) delivers a “memorable and funny” (Kirkus Reviews) memoir about confronting his genetic legacy as he hits his forties. Black pulls no punches in this hilariously honest memoir...

I thought this was the best way to save them. The four men that keep me grounded, rooted to the core of my history, my legacy, and I'll save them no matter the cost. Truths uncovered lead to more secrets, more lies, more pain, and the tangled web of Echoes Cove has me trapped tighter in its bindings. The monsters of this world have no idea how far I'm willing to go. How hard I'm willing to fight.

In this thoughtful, inspiring, and deeply personal book, comedian, actor, and father Michael Ian Black gets (mostly) serious about the trouble with masculinity. In the form of a heartfelt letter to his college-bound son - but with ideas sure to resonate for many parents - he reveals his own complicated relationship with his father, explores the damage caused by the expectations placed on boys to “man up”, and searches for the best way to help his son be part of the solution, not the problem, in a world in which the word masculinity now goes hand in hand with “toxic".

In the tradition of Christian Lander’s hipster/yuppie-friendly bestselling Stuff White People Like, Michael Ian Black delivers his unique brand of quirky, deadpan humor in this new collection of comedic essays. Now that Black has become the guy he swore he’d never be—a Yuppie A-Hole—he...

A New York Times bestseller! What do you do when you spot a wild Trump in the election season? New York Times bestselling author and comedian Michael Ian Black has some sage advice for children (and all the rest of us who are scratching our heads in disbelief) in this perfectly timely parody...

In the summer of 2011, McCain and Black embarked on a balls-out, cross-country tour. Along the way, they spoke to politicians, gun lovers, abortion-rights advocates and opponents, gay parents, flag burners, Muslims, poker players, Tea Partiers, Minutemen, veterans, teen moms, bikers, fast food...