So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex Audiobook By Ian Kerner PhD LMFT PhD LMFT cover art

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex

Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives

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So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex

By: Ian Kerner PhD LMFT PhD LMFT
Narrated by: Ian Kerner PhD LMFT PhD LMFT
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Renowned sex therapist Ian Kerner shares the unique and indispensable methodology he uses to help thousands of couples get unstuck and into sexual sync.

"Combining decades of clinical research and real people's stories, this elucidating guidebook is a must-read for anyone interested in creating a richer, deeper romantic life. There is warmth, compassion and clarity on every page." ―Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

Dr. Ian Kerner is a Sherlock Holmes of the bedroom—a sexual detective helping individuals and couples solve the mystery of their sexual distress. His secret weapon? Anaylzing your “sex script.”

Kerner takes a magnifying glass to a recent sexual event, examining the entire sequence of interactions—beginning, middle, and end—from multiple angles. In those details—the what, where, when, and why of the last time you had sex—all the clues of what went wrong are revealed and the mystery of how to create mutual pleasure can be solved. When our sex scripts work, we lose ourselves in mutual pleasure; but when they fail, it’s all we can do not to ruminate over the details. What can be learned by looking at your sex life in action?

With wit and warmth, the nationally recognized sex therapist and author of the smash hit She Comes First shows readers how to tap into their erotic personalities and realize their sexual potential. Dr. Kerner provides the tools and techniques you need to assess, fix, and expand your sex scripts, as well as discuss many common sexual problems that get in the way of happy endings.

With the help of decades of clinical insight, the latest sexual science and research, valuable homework assignments, case studies, and more, this insightful and original book strips away discomfort and offers couples not just the ability to talk about sex, but the ability to actually do something about it.

“From breaking out of a sex rut to managing mismatched libidos, Ian Kerner is at the forefront of giving us fresh sexy solutions to classic sex problems.” ―Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

“Ian Kerner’s book is refreshingly informative. His compassion and kindness gently disarm shame, promoting the kind of communication and self-interrogation that are, ultimately, key to experiencing joy in sex.” ―Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex Conflict Resolution Love, Dating & Attraction Personal Development Relationships

Critic reviews

“From breaking out of a sex rut to managing mismatched libidos, Ian Kerner is at the forefront of giving us fresh sexy solutions to classic sex problems.”—Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity
"Even in therapy, sex seems like the one topic people need to talk about most but don't know how. Thankfully, renowned sex therapist Ian Kerner has come to the rescue for everyone who has wanted more out of their erotic life but felt stuck, confused, or just plain frustrated. Combining decades of clinical research and real people's stories, this elucidating guidebook is a must-read for anyone interested in creating a richer, deeper romantic life. There is warmth, compassion and clarity on every page."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone
"Ian Kerner is a voice of equal parts compassion and logic. He speaks equally to men and to women, equally to people with great sex lives and people who are struggling. Ian's work is essential in the world of sex positive writing."—Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., New York Times bestselling author of Come As You Are and Burnout
“What a fascinating book on the how-to of sex—it’s packed with riveting data and great advice: Either you’ll be gratified that you are doing everything right or you’ll pick up a pile of truly valuable tips. Kerner is a wise man--it's a compelling read.”—Helen Fisher, Ph.D., Author of Anatomy of Love
“Is the air you breathe oxygenated with a little bit of eroticism?” asks bestselling author and sex therapist Ian Kerner. If it is, then you will savor this book which, (as the title indicates), invites us to look through the window of our last sexual experiences to illuminate our sex lives and what they could become. If it isn’t then you must buy this book today! Kerner has created another instant classic for individuals, couples and their therapists who are willing to consider what last night could mean for tomorrow."—Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D., Professor, Faculty of Medicine, University of Ottawa, Canada
"Based on real stories and linked by real data, Kerner's So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex is a look into the sex lives of people that will serve to normalize, validate, and importantly, inspire! This book is for sex therapists, individuals seeking to improve their sex lives, and anyone who wants to turn good sex into great sex!" —Lori A. Brotto, PhD, author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness
All stars
Most relevant
Ian Kerner is such a treasure trove of insight. As I navigate the dissolution of my marriage and look ahead to a future of new relationships, I looked to this book to gain insights on what I can improve about myself and how I relate to others. This book gave me everything I sought and more. I can already say it has immediately helped me connect better with others in every sense, not just sexually. I can’t wait to put his exercises into practice.

Game changing book

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The general idea of the book is good, but there is no moral grounding that leads helpful responses wander off into unhealthy sexual behaviors currently in vogue in our corner of world history.

Some helpful tips, but sold out to destructive modern sexual ethics

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I really wanted to like Ian Kerner’s books because they are often recommended to people like me who would like to improve their sex lives. When I say “people like me” I’m a straight male in a relationship with a straight female. Yet when I read this, I just get this sense that he does not like hetero males (even though he says he is one) and has more fondness and empathy for the gay couples in this book. I just felt like he kept accusing me of things i was not, just because I’m a hetero male.

That being said, I appreciate the information in the book about sex scripts. That felt like worthwhile, useful information to think about when having sex. It’s a tool that I think people would find useful learning about in this book and then discussing it more with a therapist and sex therapist.

Lastly, I really wish this dude would stop narrating his own books. I just find his voice annoying, like getting sex advice from a high schooler selling me popcorn at the movie box office. His voice sounds like what I imagine Jared Kushner’s voice sounds like.

So I would recommend this book definitely to women and gay couples, and slightly less so to straight men. After listening to both this and reading She Comes First, yes it’s good information (conveniently in one place, but nothing absolutely new or groundbreaking) I’m still wishing I could find a sex self-help writer who doesn’t make me feel ashamed to be a straight male.

His disdain for cis hetero males

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