Fashionably Dead in Diapers

By: Robyn Peterman

Narrated by: Jessica Almasy

And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips....

Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You're welcome.

Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.

Have sex.

When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.

Have sex again.

When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.

At least cuddle.

Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.

Find a closet, and go to town.

©2015 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

Entertaining...

Entertaining story with Astrid struggling with amnesia for approximately 75% of the book. I've liked Ethan from the start of the series, but his patience with Astrid and her memory loss while worrying for his son made me adore him. Samuel is absolutely adorable, extraordinarily gifted, and a 100% awesome. He will keep his parents and family friends on their toes for a very long time. This story is full of humor, drama, and interesting characters! Highly recommend this series!

Think you're a bad parent?! Think again!

These books are such crazy fun! I love them so much! If you ever want to escape from reality and feel like a better parent then listen to this and die laughing!

Oh my god,oh my god,oh my god, oh my god

Potty mouth Astrid's at it again, only this time she has a child, and oh what a child he is. I won't ruin it for you, but I swear this book was even better than the last. I'm still laughing at this one. The Kev and his fairy friends are Hilarious as are Bon Jovi and Pink. I'm telling you, you'll be rolling your eyes and cracking up with the Lucille ball type escapade Astrid gets into. Well I'm off for my next adventure with Astrid and Ethan.

I love them

I struggled to find a series. I loved Kresley Cole immortals after dark series.. this is a lighter version to me.. it's fun and super creative with the characters.. I gobble these up.. I listen approx 7 hours a day and these are perfect!!

Very funny family!

One of the funniest series I have ever read, hope there are many more books to come and that baby doesn't grow up very quickly.