Stop People Pleasing

And Find Your Power

By: Hailey Magee

Narrated by: Hailey Magee

A viral life coach offers a practical, empathetic, and inspiring guide to breaking people-pleasing patterns that can harm our careers, relationships, and physical and psychic health.

For most of Hailey Magee’s life, people-pleasing came so naturally to her that she didn’t even have a word for it. When somebody wanted something from her—even a stranger—she gave it, no matter how uncomfortable, exhausted, or resentful she felt inside. People-pleasing, she learned, was a coping mechanism that had kept her physically and emotionally safe in the past, but wreaked havoc on her life in the present—and she was committed to breaking the pattern once and for all.

The solution that social media and self-help shelves gave her was to “Advocate for yourself! Speak up! Set boundaries!” But after years of ignoring her feelings and needs, Magee needed more than boundaries; she needed to reconnect with the “self” who was supposed to be doing the advocating. You can’t express yourself if you’re cut off from your feelings. You can’t fight for your needs if you don’t know what they are. And you can’t set boundaries with others until you believe you’re worthy of more than the bare minimum. Radically reconnecting with herself gave Magee the confidence and self-respect she needed to stand up for herself in her relationships. As she experienced a freedom she never thought possible, she became a certified life coach with the mission of helping others do the same.

Stop People Pleasing explains how anyone can break the pattern by learning their own feelings, needs, values, and desires; ending cycles of enmeshment and codependency; overcoming guilt; developing physical and sexual agency; and more. It is a refreshingly nuanced guide, exploring fundamental questions like:
-How can I tell when my genuine kindness veers into people-pleasing?
-How can I set boundaries while maintaining my empathy and generosity?
-When is it appropriate to compromise on my needs, and when is it not?

Combining social science, psychology, and hands-on coaching exercises, Stop People Pleasing teaches you how to connect with your own feelings, needs, and dreams; courageously advocate for yourself in your relationships with friends, family, and colleagues; soothe yourself through the growing pains of healing; and dive headfirst into pleasure and play. With fresh insight, heartfelt empathy, and a keen personal understanding of the pitfalls of people-pleasing, Magee helps you say what you need and get what you deserve.

Critic reviews

"Life coach Hailey Magee’s youthful tone and audible desire to be helpful make it easy for listeners to absorb the guidance offered in this exceptional audiobook. Her appealing confidence invites us to become more curious about ourselves, more open to change. After the likable author opens with her accessible thinking about how people pleasing impacts us, she offers an excellent overview of the principles and skills she aims to teach. She explains the importance of self-respect and blends this foundational principle with an array of interpersonal skills we can use to support ourselves and avoid habitual compliance with others. Sounding empathetic and astute, she shows us how to be clear about what we want and what we don’t want—and how to handle the feelings generated when we begin respecting ourselves."

Just what I needed

I have been a people pleaser my whole life and through years of therapy, I have decided that it’s time for a change. This book has really given me the tools to be successful and how to choose myself first moving forward. I appreciate the scenarios that she gives as it makes it feel more relatable.

Good start a new and better you.

Great info for changing your relationship behavior, patterns, and habits that hinder you in your relationships.

Great read but slow in some spots

I enjoyed the book up until about chapter 15-end of the book. Would read again just for the exercise mentioned in different chapters but other than that it’s something to read if you actually sitting down reading it and can appreciate it otherwise it’s hard to listen to on the go such as I did for the most of it.

I’m feeling seen and empowered

This is a wonderful book. I’ve been listening to it all morning and the narration is wonderfully paced with the subject matter being relatable to anyone. The subject nailed my childhood experiences and has helped me know what points to bring up during therapy. Check it out if you can.

spoke to my actual real life issues

I listened to this everyday on my way to work and it helped me set the tone for my day and helped me deal with setting my boundaries at work so I can get through my day